Thoughts on my attitude toward my smoke detector

It’s a commitment

This does not hold a mirror up to nature, in my humble opinion

Ok, ok, just one more Sarcastic Shelley, then I’ll stop. (Ep. 6)

Why am I having such a hard time learning this language? Oh, maybe because it makes NO GODDAMN SENSE

Sarcastic Shelley #5: yes, I’m so attractive when I’m groggy!

“Oh, haw, haw, haw, SOMEBODY’S on her period”

A daily thought process

The perfect answer to all cosmetic problems!

Shout out to all musician readers